I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize