sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize