Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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