i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
