Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
