Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
