I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
