she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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