haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
