i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
