He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
