I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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