Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
