You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
