So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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