I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
