You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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