S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
