i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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