a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
