The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
