This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
