i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
