they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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