I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
