I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
