Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
