great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
