DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
