Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
