The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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