I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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