I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
