bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
