I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Randomize
