yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
