Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
