and she was petting her beer can
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You have to summon your inner elephant
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
