Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize