the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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