I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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