She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
