that's an acceptable place to lick
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
