so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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