why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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