What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
