Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
