Tell her she can't have a vagina
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
