I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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