is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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