You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
