dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
