We're facebook friends in real life
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
tell me about the fingering
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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