Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
