Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
