Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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