I can tuck mytits in my pants
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
