I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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