I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Randomize
