That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
