It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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