i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
