There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
