My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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