I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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