the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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