oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She told me I should be a condom model.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
