Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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