Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
