That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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