Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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